Men can't keep their emotions and zip buttoned.

A  lot of men have had nothing but nasty things to say about girls who flirt. Yet, flirting has absolutely
nothing to do with dragging a man by the scruff of the neck, so to speak, and leading him into the bedroom.

Flirting is the little flattery things said to us by other people that make us feel good enough to be happy that we are female and are still desirable. The same can also apply to men. If it goes beyond that, it has an unhealthy ring to it, and it is called ‘leading on’.
Take the case of Wole for instance. He had been on very good terms with a couple for years. He’d known the husband since their university days in the North and the wife took to him like duck to water. He was so used to the household that most of the time when work took his friend away from home he was always with the wife and three children.
Florence, the friend’s wife told me that when Wole started flirting with her, she didn’t think too much of it.
“I mean. he was like the brother I never had. Then I noticed that whenever I wasn’t supposed to be looking, he would give me very intense looks. Several times. I caught him looking at me and I would stare right back at him but he never looked away. It got to a point when I started feeling uncomfortable around him. Surely, he would be the last person to make a pass at me?
“Then he started making comments like… `I could have an affair with you easily if you weren’t my best friend’s wife… That friend of mine must be barmy to be always on the road with a pretty thing like you alone in the house? Did anyone ever tell you that you were a very attractive woman? .. .’
“At first, I was amused by it all but when he stopped laughing whenever he made comments, I knew he was serious. Dead serious. He could no longer hide the lust in his eyes. Then came the day things came to a head. I came out of the bedroom in my nightie not expecting a visitor and he’d just been let in by the house-help. ‘Oti o!’ he exclaimed in
Yoruba, ‘don’t tell me you’re not wearing anything under that dress!’
Well. it was obvious I wasn’t, but I hurried back into the room to change. He wanted to eat and I didn’t have anything in the house that he could eat. He said he would go out to get some fast food for both of us. Did I want to come? Well, what harm could come out of that? He was a family friend after all, so I went with him.
“I was a bit embarrassed when he started running his hand up my thigh any time he shifted the gear. When I told him to stop it, he told me not to be silly. Was this one of the goodies his friend was enjoying? At this stage, I was thoroughly annoyed and irritated by his coarse behaviour and I asked him to take me home. In his conceit, he drove straight to his flat with this stupid excuse that he left his wallet in the house. Did I want to come in and look for it with him? The oldest line in the book and I declined. By the time he came back, I was already in a taxi heading home.
“I didn’t tell my husband what happened and I guess Wole respected me for it. He hasn’t been so frequent since then and I don’t pamper him any more like I used to on the few occasions he called. An affair is alright if you feel like it, but being expected to roll in the hay with your best friends is, to me, an insult! I refused to be treated like a prostitute in my own house!”
That is one woman who could put a screw on things if she has to. But Stella’s case is different. In the space of ten years, she has known several men, and the fact that she’s married doesn’t cramp her style. All it takes for a man to have her are a few gifts, some nice words and the right opportunity. Why did she do it? She told me:
“I think I must be very weak and too trusting. At first I meant things to be on a flirtatious basis. But the more gifts a man buys me, the more I feel guilty about taking things from him. Most times I tried to prevent a showdown, but my men could apparently spot a weak woman a mile off. Inevitably, I always end up in a quiet room with them. A motel most times. A few times, it is the back of the car and during the usual struggle I think, why not get it over with him? After this once, you won’t have to pay back anything. And I would do just that. And believe me, they often never bother me again!”
I looked at her aghast! I felt like holding her by the shoulders and shaking some sense into her. What are silly gifts from a man who wouldn’t lose any sleep if you refused to sleep with him?” Like I said, flirting is one thing but going out to ask for trouble means you deserve every man that walks all over you!